Please. Spay and Neuter Your Pets.

Without a question, the 3nd WORST thing a parent could ever hear is that their unmarried daughter is pregnant (or in the case of a son, got some skank pregnant). The 2nd worst thing for a parent to hear is that after said pregnancy was discovered, the son/daughter was killed in a tragic accident before the parents could even lay their hands on them. Totally unfair. Oh, and of course, the number one worst thing for a parent to hear. No parent ever wants to hear that their child is a homo. But getting to the point...  
We must not let this go on any longer. We cannot let these bastard children be brought up to think that just because their parents tarnished the sanctity of a wholesome marriage with their blasphemously filthy sex lives, that it is okay for them to go on and do the same thing. We must instead teach these poor little bastards that their mere existance is, in fact, a stain upon all the values that we, as the clean, straight-shooting faction of the human race, have based centuries of life on. That's right America. We must strike back at this blemish on our nation. We must stay their overactive appendages, in the hopes of one day reinstilling the correct values on the children of this great nation. And if need be, we might be forced to spay (or neuter) offending parties' appendages. 
You heard me. 
Rise o' great nation! Rise! Rise against the filth of this black sin that has swept through our glorious country to foul and corrupt us from the inside, out. Let us be rid of this blemish forever more! Allow us to finally expunge the habit of premarital sex from our social system once again. 
Then we can finally do something about those gays. 
Nasty.