Matthew R. Powell Provides a Solution to the War on Terror

Each year more members of the Taliban and muslim extremists demand American blood. These scourges to society perform countless acts of terror and murder, all in the name of Allah. The radicals see the entire Christian world, but especially America, as their enemy, and we, as Americans, have come to fear and loathe them. The government has tried to negotiate with them, but it would appear that they are unhappy with any payment short of American lives. These dastardly, despicable human beings crave American blood- and I say we give it to them- in exchange for peace, of course. After much deliberation I have determined the best and only solution to please muslim extremists, and I believe that it will be found to be most agreeable by the citizens of America, the freest and most democratic nation in the world. Each year we could send a set number of youths ages 18-20 to the Taliban for them to do whatever they wish. The Taliban would be pleased because they would think that they were depleting America of its citizens with the most potential, but in reality this would not be the case. A board would be created to determine which youths are the worst in America, and these youths would be sent to the Taliban. "Worst" would be defined by a combination of scholarly performance and criminal record. This way we could also provide young Americans with an added incentive to stay in school and stay out of crime.