America is facing a suicide epidemic. Rates of self-inflicted fatalities have risen steadily for the past ten years, with places like the Golden gate Bridge and the Sears Tower selling a sizable portion of tickets to people either coming to jump, thinking about jumping, or coming to watch someone jump. Faced with diseases like anorexia, parkinson's, severe depression, and in one case, severe ugliness, these people have little to live for and leave swaths of destruction behind them. Their families, embarassed and confused by the actions of their son/daughter, are forced to live reclusely, not going to church for fearing of someone asking, "How's Betty?". The funerals for these men and women are xpensive and considering most insurance plans don't pay for suicide the families receive little compensation.
Meanwhile, men and women who very much want to live are dying in places like Afghanistan, and Turkey, and Saudi Arabia, and Pakistan, and Iraq. Militiants in these countries have dsicovered a weapon we Americans are too scared to use. But with mounting deaths in Afghanistan now is the time, we must equip our own suicide bombers.
What a waste a suicide is - with each gunshot to the head, or xanax overdose, dies something much greater- the ability to blow up some Taliban. By recruiting depressed men and women of th United states we can get explosives where no drone can see. By strapping bottles of gasoline to these depressed individuals chests and sending them into the homes and villages of Taliban we can onquer an enemy that has long hidden.When asked why weren't winning the war in Afghanistan, Robert Gates said, "They live in caves, we can't get missiles in caves." Well now we can. Goodbye Osama, have a taste of your own medicine.
For many of these individuals there is nothing more they want than recognition. They are depressed because they have no friends, no support group. They feel their is no reason to live. Well, we will give them a reason to die then. we will give them the honor they want as well as an honorary medal to their family. In a report released by the Harvard Medicine Center,a suicide victim is most likely to be white, Protestant, from the South, and have few friends. This already describes many folks who are clamoring to kill, "them Taliban" so recruitment shouldn't be a problem. Every bridge jump produces nothing but unhappiness, but every American suicide bomber would save an American life.