Pools for everyone

All of those pictures of melting glaciers, rising sea levels, and dying polar bear cubs can really get the national mood down. After some deep consideration, I have arrived at a conclusion I think will solve both of these problems. What America needs, at this time of national insecurity, is a mandatory below-ground saline pool in every backyard.
Each and every American household will have a week off of school and work to begin construction on their family’s pool. Think of the inevitable bonding over the hours of digging and cementing a Olympic sized pool! Apartment complexes and city dwellers with limited space will be expected to make due with what they have, but no one is exempt from the pool building. This is a nation of can-doers, not excuse makers. We can make a difference. Then Democrats pushing for reform in the energy sector can take on the job of transporting the millions of gallons of sea water from the overflowing ocean and into the backyards of everyday Americans.
Just imagine a beautiful summer day in South Dakota, a family of four is sitting by the pool. Sure, the brine makes it difficult for anything living to exist in the water for more than 30 seconds, but haven’t the Joneses always wanted a pool? And just think of the difference it’s making for those who would be impacted by rising sea levels. They should retain their right to live inches from the beach of course.
In fact, all nations should follow our precedent, as they inevitably will, us being the world leaders and all. Forget reducing carbon footprints. We can still live in luxury: with SUVs and, now, below-ground pools.